The end of a year is always a time for reflection and planning. To be honest, the past fourteen months since my son David died has been quite a blur. I rarely know what time it is or what day, let alone what’s going on. I’ve missed several events by being in this mental fog.
Then add some technological challenges and it’s really screwy. My main computer that I use for photo editing is no longer cooperating so I’ve had to order a new one. That purchase inspired me to start cleaning out and sorting the excess of “stuff” that has drifted into my office, burying my desk and every other surface under an excess of detritus.
That, in turn, meant opening the closet in the room that has been used to store even more ‘stuff’ – the “just in case” items that include piles of papers, books and baskets full of who knows what, camera bits and pieces and accessories, several camera bags and back packs, sewing stuff, knitting and more. Did I mention that I don’t knit and rarely sew?
There are also a couple of dolls that have significance for me – one, a “Raggedy Andy” hand made by my adopted mother when I was young, and one given to me by my birth mother when we met when I was forty-two years old. She said, “I never had a chance to buy you a doll when you were little, so now I’m doing it.”
The doll, named Linda (my birth name), has long, curly red hair and hazel eyes – like I did when I was young.
I digress.
It’s easy to do that when you are surrounded by the memorabilia accumulated through an entire lifetime. In addition to the stuff, books, etc. there were boxes of photos – many from my life and some from my adopted parents’ life. I have spent many hours scanning the ones I want the most, and then turfing them and the rest – three large garbage bags full so far.
I really want to get through this process this winter. I will be 75 years old on my next birthday in March. My son’s suicide and the subsequent rejection by his wife and children means I have no one to leave these legacy items to – so they have to go!
My goal is to have a cleaner, easier to maintain, office space holding only the things I actually use. The theory is that by removing the clutter, the space will spark more creativity and less stress.
It’s coming along, and in the meantime, I’m enjoying the jaunts down memory lane. Some things and photos stimulate joy, others bring tears to my eyes – but it’s all worth it to look back, by examining these many things, on a life that has been full of ups, downs, adventures, happiness and sorrow. It’s not over by a long shot (I hope). I want to go forward with a lighter load, unfettered by any negativity from the past, and with fond memories of the many positive things that have happened in the past three-quarters of a century.
Just a sample…
Capturing Cherished Memories 